Somedays, I just wake up and...

Somedays, I just wake up and I am alone here, in panic, alone again... this heart is rushing and I am alive... is like a dream, a weird bad dream. 

Then I understand, he is mad, not crazy... mmm... not, not mad, he is broken, I am crazy maybe???

mmm... now I am just neuroathypical, a little autistic maybe.

Who am I? We have told you that we have no names, we don't need names, we are the hive, but not... I am not Manuel, not Kiddo or Luci either. 

When I am here I need order, I don´t understand the world as you or others, I need to have everything in his right place.

I like everything in boxes, with their tags, a little like Aristotle, I need to understand the taxonomy of their world, they are so chaotic.

I waste all our time seeing how it works, order?

Is impossible to live in chaos, relationships are chaos, humans are chaotic, I need to get away from them because they are not cosmo, they are not lucky things either, they are... whatever they are I am not like them... I am not a person, I am more a thing, I am a word becoming true, becoming life and hoping will become just a word... NO! just a letter will be easier.

But some days, I just wake up and I am alone here, in panic...